TEAM FLAME, A Hermit Crab Essay in a baseball lineup card

A Hermit Crab Essay, Nine At-Bats in a Lineup Card

BATTING THIRD

Number 5, Third Base, Coal

(Coaches note: the best hitter)

In the lineup’s three hole, the hitter must have power and make contact. In the summer season of my life, when I was full of velocity and ambition, I was that power aiming for contact whenever heat met me and drove me forth in radiant passages. In ways, I was Hopkins’ just man in going graces even when dark heat charred the fields of my heart and scarred me like burning coal.

There are fast burnings, and fast pitches that no one sees, not even the best batter:

The marriage ending.

The phone call at midnight.

The friend falling into addiction.

The exhausted preacher speaking hope he can no longer feel.

The father’s sour grapes setting the edges in the teeth and heels of others.

Fires burning with heat, flames without smoke, contact ancient and new.

Tomorrow, batting cleanup, number 14, first base, Antelope Ranch.

^{Burning excerpts from Stories Emerge Like Bears, a Cornerstone Press, a forthcoming lyric memoir in 2028 exploring wilderness, memory, labor, rhythm, motorcycles, drumming, fire, and the sacred atmospheres and languages of place.}